My Hair Has Been Electrocuted

Hello! Sorry it's been a while since my last entry but I just wanted to talk about our physical appearance during Cushing's Disease (CD) and going through Adrenal Insufficiency (AI) As all of you patient's know. The physical changes are so severe that even the most confident person would feel insecure. I want to talk about hair this time.

I've been trying to grow my hair out since my last haircut a few months ago. Lately I have been distracted examining my hair. For the past few weeks I have been noticing another change in my hair texture. When I had CD my hair was falling out, I had some bald patches in the front and overall was thinning. It was oily so It was still soft and shiny though it was very thin. I noticed that after surgery, My hair started to regrow and fill in the bald patches however the new hair growing in is very course, dry and rough in texture. It is still fairly thin as my ponytail is a measly half fistful and now it looks dead and dull. I traded the balding for courser crinkly hair. I am not sure how I feel about this, other than I am completely distracted with how it feels. Almost like I've been electrocuted lol

A bit worried, I talked to my friend and she confirmed that the hair issues are from steroids and possibly AI. And her hair improved when fully tapering off. I hope in time my hair will start growing in better and healthier. Not only are we plagued with waiting for our health to get back but we have to be patient for our appearance to get normal. But Don't worry about it Cushies! Worst case scenario is that we could shave it all off lol just kidding >.<

As my lesson in health and recovery continues, I realize that the best way to get through these changes is to let go of our attachments to things in our life such as the past, the way we use to look, anger towards things we cannot change, material items and the way other people view us. Yeah that's a hard pill to swallow being a 25 year old girl/woman who is vain as the mortal version of a Kardashian. But I must remember that things were worse and now getting better. I almost forget that while comparing old photos pre CD, I look better now because I have some kind of inner self esteem I discovered during this whole process. It helps me to feel comfortable in my own skin and accept myself regardless of how I look. It kind of just radiates and people seem to approach and say hi to me. Unlike before people seemed to stare at me for the way I was dressed or the ridiculous amount of eyeshadow I wore lol OR maybe, it's because I seem happier :D

Cushing's Awareness Day

So I am a newbie here. I didn't know that April was the month to write a post everyday for 30 days for Cushing's awareness. I am 8 days late but I will try to catch up. Who's counting eh? Lets talk about symptoms and progress. Oh yeah thanks Marian for updating me on this!!

It's been almost 10 months since my adrenalectomy. Symptoms I still have is rapid heartbeat for certain things. Food can trigger it, high activity, social anxiety and caffeine. It's not as bad as before but it still happens maybe 2 or 3 times a week. No more panic attacks! YAY! No more paranoid feelings when I am out. The depression is much better. I find myself enjoying life more. I am socializing again and doing more of my hobbies. My menses come once every two months. I am getting more tired lately and extra unmotivated to get things done. I don't know if it is related but before I could multitask and wake up early but now it feels impossible to get out of bed. My memory is getting pretty crappy. The short term memory is bad. I repeat things and lose things that are right in front of me. Everyday is a struggle. Can't remember what I am studying and my textbook is a puzzle to me. I will be getting a brain MRI in a week to figure out why I am having headaches every night and the memory problems. THE STRUGGLE IS REALLLL lol hmmm.. weight is still stable. I am eating lots of fast food, takeout and restaurants. I have mad sugar cravings. Still get faint often.. The nurse says I have low blood pressure so i guess that's why I will eat a cookie then crave another piece of chocolate. SIGH I hope this won't make me gain weight once my hormones regulate.. I have absolutely no motivation to eat healthy and go workout or be productive versus before surgery I was working, going to school, eating super healthy and working out. Now I have to find great effort to do simple things. My bones still hurt, I tried to squat and heard my knees crack and pop and it hasnt stopped cracking ever since so I guess no squats for me. lol I will probably get a fat ass from eating all these carbs i'm inhaling anyway. The hairy-ness is sooo much better. This guy in my class said he hates hairy arms and asked to look at mines and said I had nice hairless arms. HA! He should have seen me a year ago. I was a furry hamster... But yeah I shaved my whole body and the hair growth is much thinner and almost blonde so that is very good progress. The acne is better as you saw in my last video.. But I still get pimples here and there so I still feel paranoid about that. The hair on my head is filling up nicely. Just got a fresh cut and now my hair feels so soft! Okay there's so more stuff but I don't remember so I will post a better blog next time. I am a little distracted right now =] Here's some pics of my haircut and progress pic!

Loving this hair. I did not change my color this is a box color from walgreens =]

Recovery is a beautiful roller coaster. Hello dimple, never thought I would see you again.

Feeling Better? A Good Surprise

Alright I'll admit I've been bad since my last entry.. I got curious to how I would do on a lower dose of steroids and self experimented. I took 27mg umm let's just say I didn't do too well. Yes I'm stubborn lol, although I'm not dying so I think I can handle it. I'll just keep it that way til the next visit to the docs which is in a month or so? Supposedly the magic number to stimulate the adrenal gland is 12-15 mg. I still have a long way to taper down... I think I might be feeling better? I see some improvement on some things and less in others. I guess I need to feel or see a huge difference to believe it but I am now livin life in the slow lane lol. We had some unexpected house guests this week.. lol

Vankey, Fatty &       ^^Tiny

Ever since the operation I haven't been feeling well or keeping track of the days going by. Yesterday there was a knock on the door I thought it was some delievery package and it was my best gal Jessica  holding some beautiful flowers. I forgot we planned months ago that she would come back one last time from Maryland to visit and I even wrote it down on my memo. Blame it on the short term memory! lol.. This will be the last time I see her for a while since she's in the airforce and will be relocating to Korea then Japan. I wanted to make a little memorabilia collage for her and found some old pictures of us through the years. Looking back at old photos is funny, I looked so dorky in the homecoming picture and what was I thinking going so blonde!! lol x]

2004

2006

2012

Today

I will miss her, & so proud of everything she's accomplished!