I can't seem to wrap my head around this. A woman who suffers from Cushing's Syndrome kills herself by jumping off her apartment building 3 days ago. Such a tragedy. My prayers go out to her and her family.
The story is featured at New York Post:
http://nypost.com/2014/06/19/pedestrian-almost-crushed-after-cancer-stricken-woman-leaps-to-her-death/
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Friday, June 20, 2014
Friday, October 18, 2013
What Really Happened
This Monday I was on the verge of a panic attack I had the feelings come on so I tried to smoke some and drank a little Nyquil to calm down and sleep it off. BTW I do not console anyone to do that! EVER!! Well it didn't seem to help so I called my nurse and she told me to go to the Neuro center at my hospital immediately. So I went and texted Muffin that I was getting some help. Apparently the nurse thought I was committing suicide and called the cops and ambulance. Well, I did tell her I was trying to "stop the bad feelings" I guess it can be misinterpreted Anyways during the time I went to the center I had to give up my belongings and my cellphone. I stayed for a day and talked to some Psychiatrists about my health conditions and how nobody seems to understand. They told me that all of my feelings are validated and said I had a "rough childhood" lol I guess.. Once I got out I found like 50 texts and missed calls from Muffin and family members worried and that's when I found out that 10 cop cars and ambulance came to the apartment that night. I just want to thank everyone for caring so much and apologize for scaring up a storm. The truth from what the Psychiatrists concluded was that I do have suicidal tendencies. But don't worry I don't plan on taking my life or harming others. I DON"T WANT TO DIE. It's just hard living with Adrenal Insuffiency as it was with Cushing's. except for the fact that you don't bloat up like a balloon.
Well let's talk about some GOOD PROGRESS
Today I went to see my doc, I still am Adrenal Insufficient. So still on the HTR. When they weighed me I was 112 lbs which means I have lost 16 lbs since Adrenalectomy. That puts me back to how much I weighed back in HS. This is with little to no diet or exercise! Ohyeah! The weird part is that I have gotten 2 inches shorter. I use to be 5'5 and now i'm 5'3. I made them double check and that's how the cookie crumbled. Maybe it had to do with Cushing's and osteoporosis/bone loss was a symptom. But yeah I guess the only good news is the weightloss haha! Atleast I can fit into that dress pictured below I wanted to wear to Muffin's friends' wedding. Initially I had trouble zipping up the dress when I first got it but the day of, it fit like a glove. I had reservations about going to such a public place but who could miss a wedding in the name of love?
Well let's talk about some GOOD PROGRESS
Today I went to see my doc, I still am Adrenal Insufficient. So still on the HTR. When they weighed me I was 112 lbs which means I have lost 16 lbs since Adrenalectomy. That puts me back to how much I weighed back in HS. This is with little to no diet or exercise! Ohyeah! The weird part is that I have gotten 2 inches shorter. I use to be 5'5 and now i'm 5'3. I made them double check and that's how the cookie crumbled. Maybe it had to do with Cushing's and osteoporosis/bone loss was a symptom. But yeah I guess the only good news is the weightloss haha! Atleast I can fit into that dress pictured below I wanted to wear to Muffin's friends' wedding. Initially I had trouble zipping up the dress when I first got it but the day of, it fit like a glove. I had reservations about going to such a public place but who could miss a wedding in the name of love?
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| Where's Miley? |
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| My S.O. |
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| Love these nails! Essie Polish and Essie gold Applique |
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Oh Bloody Heck I'm still Young!
Today I went to get blood work done yay my favee!! My docs instructed for me to not take my meds for 24-48 hrs. We will see the results next week if lazy lefty decided to wake up yet. But omg When will I ever get over the fear of needles?! The guy who took my blood had trouble finding a good vein to stick the needle in and he said I have dainty veins. umm dainty?? lol I just told him to please please hurry up and get it over with. Anyways I was told to avoid stressful activities since I won't have the cortisol in my body to cope. but a bloodtest in my book is a stressful activity has now become my regular friend.
I mentioned some time ago my struggles of coping and fearing the Cushing's will return. I don't want to go on anti-depressants or anxiety meds. So I went and talked to a behavior counselor and he told me it is often normal for an ill patient to feel that way though they are surgically "fixed". It's kind of hard to feel fixed when the symptoms are still there. Though my surgeon still reminds me that I am more than good lol Some people think it's just simple surgery and the problem will be gone which is not the case with the Cushing's patient. He did say that it is very rare for a young person to become this ill and usually it happens later on in life when people are wiser and can cope with a big stressor like illness, surgery, and death. He explained I'm still young and I was suppose to see my elders get sick first instead it was vice versa and he told me that this major event was equal to losing a limb or death of a family member. His advice was that I need to accept that it just happened and I did nothing wrong And like everyone else, he advised me to only do things that makes me feel good from now on. Yes I agree! Life is too short! I was already trying to do that but it is definitely easier to navigate and follow instructions from someone with this kind of insight. We talked for a long time and it did help me feel better even though some symptoms are still present. I am still learning about what I can handle. This week due to low meds: My joints are having sharp jolts of pain but manageable and the dry itchy skin is crazy, not manageable! I've been feeling more tired and have been sleeping a lot. I am so happy that I can take full naps now! Excitement due to good or bad stress leaves me feeling exhausted. But that is good I can take more naps! lol I cut myself chopping an apple and it hurt like hell! I have a headache but not as extreme as usual. The moments of mental clarity are still improving but improving ever so slowly. Thankfully the people in my bubble aren't pressuring me to recover quickly even though I have wild expectations for myself. As the smart Dr. Seuss once said," those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." =]
I mentioned some time ago my struggles of coping and fearing the Cushing's will return. I don't want to go on anti-depressants or anxiety meds. So I went and talked to a behavior counselor and he told me it is often normal for an ill patient to feel that way though they are surgically "fixed". It's kind of hard to feel fixed when the symptoms are still there. Though my surgeon still reminds me that I am more than good lol Some people think it's just simple surgery and the problem will be gone which is not the case with the Cushing's patient. He did say that it is very rare for a young person to become this ill and usually it happens later on in life when people are wiser and can cope with a big stressor like illness, surgery, and death. He explained I'm still young and I was suppose to see my elders get sick first instead it was vice versa and he told me that this major event was equal to losing a limb or death of a family member. His advice was that I need to accept that it just happened and I did nothing wrong And like everyone else, he advised me to only do things that makes me feel good from now on. Yes I agree! Life is too short! I was already trying to do that but it is definitely easier to navigate and follow instructions from someone with this kind of insight. We talked for a long time and it did help me feel better even though some symptoms are still present. I am still learning about what I can handle. This week due to low meds: My joints are having sharp jolts of pain but manageable and the dry itchy skin is crazy, not manageable! I've been feeling more tired and have been sleeping a lot. I am so happy that I can take full naps now! Excitement due to good or bad stress leaves me feeling exhausted. But that is good I can take more naps! lol I cut myself chopping an apple and it hurt like hell! I have a headache but not as extreme as usual. The moments of mental clarity are still improving but improving ever so slowly. Thankfully the people in my bubble aren't pressuring me to recover quickly even though I have wild expectations for myself. As the smart Dr. Seuss once said," those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." =]
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