When Healing Begins

Now that I am free of the Cushing's Tumor, I am given a gift for the ability to heal myself. This is the gift that enables any damage that has been done to my health, body and mind in the past to be reversed. The damage that has been done was many things from the list of symptoms. However I need to address the damage in another form that I hold responsibility for. For a long time I never wanted to accept that illness could or had happened to me. In order to start my true healing, I needed to accept the situation for what it is, however I am one to resist the thought of something I don't want. But not only did it make the process slower, it caused more friction within my energy and finding the peace I wanted.

During serious ailment, the body is weak so there is no defense to protect the mind. The sickness tends to take over but we have to be conscious of the situation and accept it. It is not easy to do so especially for a sick patient. But we have to know that we are not our "tumor"-- the one that creates the painful symptoms, or even our mind-- the thoughts that can create bad feelings. Being aware of the triggers and fears are very helpful. What I have learned is that the only thing I needed to do was to let everything run it's course instead of fighting it with nonsense worry and thinking. I can accept that I am not who I use to be anymore. Now I am given a chance to change and become stronger, grow happier, and make peace with my life. And if it took all of this to happen then thank God it did!!

 

Who Would Have Known It Would Be You

Here's a funny story.  like most hypochondriacs, prior to getting diagnosed I went to WebMD to try and diagnose myself. I typed in my 15+ symptoms and guess what popped up? PCOS, Adrenal fatigue, etc... and Cushing's syndrome/disease. What caught my eye was the Cushing's syndrome. It said a rare disease characterized by a moon face, depression, high blood pressure, anxiety, fatigue, muscle weakness, bone loss, amenorrhea, memory loss etc etc... anyways I ran to muffin and said "that's me!!!" but he told me it was too rare only 10 out of a million people get that so it's probably not.. But guess what? Not only was it Cushing's that I had. I also had the adrenal kind that affect not 10 but 2 out of a million... I'm starting to feel that my chances of winning the lottery might not be so far fetched after all haha! Okay not to scare anyone into self diagnosing because most of the time it is NONE of the above that you have. Just go to the doctor and it's probably less severe than what you imagined in your head.

I have been talking to a girl who is from my city Houston  and almost my age who suffered from Cushing's. She had her surgery in 2010 and is fully recovered today. She sent me some of her before and after pics and she is looking happy and healthy! So all of these people I talk to give me hope I will get there one day. It's crazy to know that someone in the same vicinity to get this so called "rare" tumor. I have always felt that maybe Cushing's is not as rare as we think but is often misdiagnosed or not at all since it is hard find the problem. But I do believe it is happening to a lot of unknowing, innocent folks. I really want to spread the word about this to help others who could be living with an adrenal or pituitary tumor. I get a few people emailing me freaking out about how they have the same symptoms and want to know what to do next. Okay first off don't freak out! It may not be anything at all. My first advice is to get your hormones tested!!! Check for Cortisol levels.  It is better to just do a routine hormone blood test to rule out Cushing's. It is beneficial to get a test for all your hormones to rule out Cushing's or any other problems you have. This one lady went for a checkup and found out she had Pcos. Any who, if you are noticing strange symptoms that is not " normal you" get your hormones checked!

The other week I found a sweet lost abandoned kitten and took her home a few days and found her a new home. Never was a fan of cats until now. Have a good life little Meo Meo. <3

 

 

Oh Bloody Heck I'm still Young!

Today I went to get blood work done yay my favee!! My docs instructed  for me to not take my meds for 24-48 hrs. We will see the results next week if lazy lefty decided to wake up yet. But omg When will I ever get over the fear of needles?! The guy who took my blood had trouble finding a good  vein to stick the needle in and he said I have dainty veins. umm dainty?? lol I just told him to please please hurry up and get it over with. Anyways I was told to avoid stressful activities since I won't have the cortisol in my body to cope. but a bloodtest in my book is a stressful activity has now become my regular friend.

I mentioned some time ago my struggles of coping and  fearing the Cushing's will return. I don't want to go on anti-depressants or anxiety meds. So I went and talked to a behavior counselor and he told me it is often normal for an ill patient to feel that way though they are surgically "fixed". It's kind of hard to feel fixed when the symptoms are still there. Though my surgeon still reminds me that I am more than good lol Some people think it's just simple surgery and the problem will be gone which is not the case with the Cushing's patient. He did say that it is very rare for a young person to become this ill and usually it happens later on in life when people are wiser and can cope with a big stressor like illness, surgery, and death. He explained I'm still young and I was suppose to see my elders get sick first instead it was vice versa and he told me that this major event was equal to losing a limb or death of a family member. His advice was that I need to accept that it just happened and I did nothing wrong And like everyone else, he advised me to only do things that makes me feel good from now on. Yes I agree! Life is too short! I was already trying to do that but it is definitely easier to navigate and follow instructions from someone with this kind of insight. We talked for a long time and it did help me feel better even though some symptoms are still present. I am still learning about what I can handle. This week due to low meds: My joints are having sharp jolts of pain but manageable and the dry itchy skin is crazy, not manageable! I've been feeling more tired and have been sleeping a lot. I am so happy that I can take full naps now! Excitement due to good or bad stress leaves me feeling exhausted. But that is good I can take more naps! lol I cut myself chopping an apple and it hurt like hell! I have a headache but not as extreme as usual. The moments of mental clarity are still improving but  improving ever so slowly. Thankfully the people in my bubble aren't pressuring me to recover quickly even though I have wild expectations for myself. As the smart Dr. Seuss once said," those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." =]