Fading Acne Scars & My ACTH Stimulation Test

 So lately I have been feeling extremely tired and sleeping more often. I also have been still getting the dizzy spells. I called my endo and she suspected that I might need to get back on Steroids so she scheduled me for a ACTH and adrenal stimulation test. The test was about an hour long. At first the nurse attached an IV to me and drew blood from me. Then she injected me with some synthetic ACTH medicine to stimulate the production of cortisol. Sorry I am not sure what the medicine is called. Then I had another blood draw at 30 mins. Then another blood draw at 60 mins. The results came in and  just like what we suspected, my cortisol levels are still very low. My baseline cortisol was 8. When I was stimulated with the meds it only increased to 12. And in 60 mins it went back down again. My doctor explained that it should have been stimulated to atleast double or triple the amount to function like the average person. This is all really confusing information So I will put down a web explanation but basically I am back to supplementing steroids again. I didn't pass the test with flying colors but I am making something!

HOW I FADE MY ACNE SCARS
If you have had acne, you would know how hard it is to face the world with blemishes on your face. Especially for those who suffer from cystic acne like I did. Since the surgery, the breakouts have subsided slowly but what is left is just as bad. Acne scars.. The acne scars are allover my face. I have all kinds from the red scars, purple, brown to the bumps, keloids, and ice pick scars. There's so many scar names but I pretty much had it all. So even though I no longer had active acne, I still would hide my face from the world and have to wear heavy makeup to disguise all the scars. Like if you looked at me in the sunlight, you would see all these little holes and bumps on my skin and it looked so bad. I was very insecure about it, I would even wear foundation around the house with my family members. I did not think that I would ever be able to show my bare face ever again.

Well the past few months I have been testing different ways and products to help with the scarring. Some worked a bit and some was useless. So I researched acne scar solutions and found a good Diy recipe that has helped my acne scarring fade tremendously. I mix these ingredients and slather in on my face for 20mins every night. Here is the recipe:

Burning face mask Ingredients I don't use the nutmeg (the name is scary but it tingles)

Use honey as the base and add a squeeze of lemon and sprinkle cinnamon (I don't use nutmeg)

Burning face mask with the girls and yogurt face mask (alternate days)

The results for the mask has been very positive. My skin has been improving weekly. A few weeks ago I was at my local store and saw that this cream was on sale so on a whim I decided to purchase it. It is called Garnier Skin Renew dark spot corrector. I decided to try it out. And WOW it just heightened the acne fading so much quicker. I instantly saw results and last night my boyfriend and little sister told me that my skin looked so clear and bright. My boyfriend told me I should forgo foundation all together. I am so thrilled to get these skin compliments!! So remember that new scars fade faster than really old scars so you have to be consistent and patient. So this is the cream I am talking about and I will put some progress pictures here:

^I prefer the cream 

My Cystic Acne From Cushing's Syndrome in 2013 ='(

no makeup!! >.<

#NoFilter Wearing face powder and eye makeup >.^

Disclaimer: This is not a sponsored review. This was what worked for me. Everyone has different skin and will react differently to products and ingredients. Test your skin to make sure you are not allergic.

Losing Your "Spark"

I talked to a Cushie friend of mine a while back and we talked about how great it feels to be looking more like ourselves these days. Shopping has been so enjoyable, to the point of becoming a shopping addiction. I was always a shopaholic before but now I feel like I want to buy everything I try on so this is not good for my piggybank but who cares I feel great about it! Another thing we talked about was though we look so much better than during our Cushings days, we still feel like our face has changed... like we lost our "spark". You know the feeling of how fresh faced and bright eyed you looked in your Highschool or College pictures but now you look in the mirror and see tired looking version of your old self? I mean, we both are very young but after Cushing's, and Adrenal insuffiency, we don't have that glow anymore.

During the early stages of my sickness I already noticed that my eyes looked different. It seem to have a blank stare instead of an emotion. In most pictures my eyes would look dead even when I am smiling. Then a few years into Cushing's, my eyes seemed like they were getting smaller and my eyelids got really heavy like I couldn't open my eyes wide. My nose looked like it was growing. I felt like my whole face got heavy that I just looked like I was frowning all the time. Then my lips which use to be my favorite feature began to look thinner. My skin was becoming reddish orange tinted and the acne was growing on top of my skin. I just felt like everything changed dramatically from the fresh face I use to have.

At that time, there was nothing I could do to fix my physical appearance but I had alot of people suggesting what they think I should do. It was overwhelming. I am happy to say that 11 months out of surgery, everything is improving so much. Everything that I mentioned above seemed to reverse. It's crazy but it was like the Cushing's literally melted off my face and body. Still being adrenal insufficient isn't easy. I feel tired all the time and my face does too. Even though I look the same as before, maybe even skinnier... The fatigue hasn't left my face. My under eye circles are getting darker and I still feel that tiredness in my eyes even though I can open in wider now. I hope in time when my hormones start raising up that I can see that spark again. But until then, make up, filters and a good sleep is my best friend =] Here are some makeup tips I've been posting on IG. People ask why I don't start a makeup youtube but I am too awkward on camera so I am easing my way into it with some "how to" snapshots!

Barefaced with just my eyebrows and lipbalm on ^.<

Blue Eyeliner helps your eye whites look whiter so you look more awake

Blue Eyeliner :)

 Now If you want something more dramatic for a night time....

Add some fuller false lashes and darker eyeshadow for a night time look

Make up can make you beautiful on the outside but being gracious will make you beautiful on the inside.

My SEVERE CYSTIC ACNE video

Hello guys I made a quick video of my acne journey. I cringe when I looked at my "during" pics bare face. Honestly I still am having anxiety posting this up as it is a very personal issue for me but on my quest to become a brave courageous person I am going to be bold with whatever I do. I need to step out of my comfort zone and live out of my bubble and it will start with this video.  I always had a few pimples here and there. I controlled it with Benzoyl peroxide which cleared up my skin 97% . During Cushing's the acne morphed into sever cystic acne. I had boils all over my face and neck and not one part of my face was clear. Every morning I woke up and cried in the mirror and every night I would sob washing off all the caked up makeup off my face. I became very self conscious about my looks. I never knew I placed so much self worth into my looks until I looked so disfigured by Cushings.

I use to model and do pageants and so having Cushing's basically made a devastating impact. When I started to get the breakouts I tried every herbal remedy there was to try to fix my skin but of course hypercortilism won the battle. and I soon gave up on my looks. After surgery my skin stopped breaking out around month 5 but I was left with dried out cysts under the skin which would turn into deep scarring. The doctors said I need to peel off the layers to get rid of the scarring.. So I went to the dermatologist and they prescribed me low tane and Retin-A. Now my skin is pretty much flat and smooth however I still have scarring that needs to be healed. I hope in time I can get back my clear skin. As a vow of overcoming my anxiety I will start  being social again and putting myself out there in life. There is  more to life to see and do than to be stuck in my little bubble being depressed that I have a pimple. I am thankful to have experienced the lowest point in my life. I can only appreciate life more today. If you are suffering from Acne please go see a doctor to make sure the inside of you is okay then a dermatologist and see what treatment they think will work best for you. Good luck and good skin!

If My Makeup Smears All Bets Are OFF!!

I'm kind of bored right now so what better way to be productive than to write down my thoughts. The last post I had made was basically me swooning over my lovely dude but last week on Valentines day, I was NOT swooning for him.

 On Valentines day we got into a heated discussion on the way to our dinner date and the discussion became me and him getting annoyed that neither of us understood each others perspective on a certain subject. Well in the moment, I felt like my Vday was going downhill. All bets are off when my cat eyeliner smears! >.< It was not how imagined our day to be. After that we lost our reservation and ended up driving down the street to a random restaurant. At 8:45pm, the line was very long out the door (and around the building) and the hostess said it'll be about 1 hour and 30 mins of wait. I was annoyed but instead of calling it a night we decided to just wait it out and went to the bar. We bought some wine at the bar and just talked to each other, not about the argument we just had but about random things, funny things, anything. (for ex: what was the worst thing you ever did to impress someone?) That will sure get a conversation started! Then our buzzer went off and it was our turn to be seated. My muffin looked at his phone and we both realized 2 hours had just passed and we didn't even noticed. But we were in a better place than we were before we left the house and before our argument. I want to write this down so I remember the lesson I learned was that our relationship is not perfect but if you choose to love and laugh then the rough patches become smoother. I try to remember now that I have a choice. Do I want to suffer and make others suffer because I am unhappy? Or do I want to be happy and my happiness makes the person I love happy too. haha now i'm confusing myself. Well that was my imperfect Vday story.

After Vday, this Sunday I ate some medium rare fajita meat takeout at Taco Cabana loll NEVER EAT rare meat from TC!! That was a bad idea... Well a few hours later I felt sick with a sore throat. The next day I felt terrible and that night I had symptoms of a cold. In the morning I was hot and sweaty but cold. My joints and muscles were in so much pain, my head was throbbing and my throat felt raw. Muffin immediately got up at 6 in the morning and went to Walmart and bought some medicine and a thermometer. When he got home he got some soup and took my temprature I was burning up to 102 degrees. He was worried because never had I gotten the flu and fever combo for years. and if it reached 104 I would need to go to hospital. I guess having Cushing's really suppressed my immune system and allergies until I had the surgery. Now I get sick pretty often but this was by far the worst. So Muffin was worried and decided to take off work to stay home and nurse me back to homeostasis or till I stabilized loll. So we doubled up on the Cortef steroids and stayed in our bed the whole day sleeping, checking my tempurature, taking meds and watching tv. Even though that was the worst fever I have ever experienced, it was my favorite sick day I've ever had.

^ The Soup Police!

 So I guess this is really a lesson that losing expectations on what you want and what you need. I don't know if that makes sense, im getting tired and my thought process is declining haha well have a blessed day for anyone who is ever going to read this entry! And remember that you have happy choices! <3