Test Results & New Video Update!

Hi guys, I was bored surfing on youtube and clicked on my channel only to see that the Cushing's video views are up to 14k with many comments. It has really made me happy that people are watching, talking, connecting and raising awareness for Cushing's syndrome and disease. Thank you all the viewers, subscribers and for the shares on youtube. I feel a sense of connection from the community to one another and my goal is to make this illness a little more known out there. I wish I could get an already famous youtuber to just shout us out and so we can have a bigger amount of awareness.

It's easy to forget as time goes by. We get this illness and write blog about it but then once we recover we forget how hard it was and how rare it is.  I get that sometimes we just want to forget about what had happened and move on from our life and life begins to feel better so we don't really care to complain on blogs but you guys, please keep sharing your story to the world because you might just save one person's life for viewing your story. There has to be people who are proactive about awareness for every other disease for it to be well known so we need to do this for our Cushie family. Sorry if I sound all preachy but I really hurt when I get these emails of people who are going through the same thing I was a few years ago when the disease was in the early stages. Being misunderstood, misheard, ignored. I was reading a story of a celebrity who is depressed, gained alot of weight and can't lose it and I just wonder do they know about CD? Or I walk down the street and see a person with a moonface and buffalo hump and wonder if they know they are sick?

Fluctuating Test results. Not sure if it's improvement but hey better than having high cortisol!

Well I have some big Cushing's News coming up that I want to share in my next blog. It's still in the works. I am really excited about it! If you haven't already, please comment and keep the converstation going!! Here's my moon face again =]

My 2013 Video

Here's my updated 2014 video:

YouTube Videos

So I am still not feeling well since the flu last week. I feel like I am getting sick all over again if that is even possible. I guess I will repost my youtube video here. The discussion on my video is more than I could ever imagine. I thought I would identify with very few people but so far the feedback is amazing. I want to thank you guys for sharing and supporting the cause for awareness. PS if you want to see the captions you gotta watch it on youtube or fullscreen. I'm still trying to figure out how to fit the whole caption but I think people get the idea lol.

My Picture Timeline on Youtube

Hello! I decided it's time to put up some pictures of my progress.. I want to talk more about Cushing's, my experience, and support through videos but I'm a bit still shy so I decided to make a slideshow instead... I'm not a pro and some of the captions don't show up idk how to fix it loll I'm a newb but here it is:

Please share this video!

LOVE love yourself

I recently talked to some women who have recovered from Cushing's and they have been so helpful with giving me insight on how to be a Cushie and how to recover from it. So thank you ladies. One thing that struck out is that all of them told me I need to love myself more in order to have a good recovery. For some reason, most Cushie's blame themselves for becoming this way including myself. I spoke with a lady named Julie and she said "I think the most important thing I want to tell you is to not beat yourself up over what has happened.  Cushings is a medical problem.  You did nothing to deserve it; it just happened.  You will recover but the process will be slow.  You must be very kind to yourself as you recover.  You must surround yourself with people who love and support you." Thank you so much for telling me that Julie. 

So far my symptoms are somewhat under control besides the muscle and joint pains. My awesome doc prescribed some beta blockers that has been helping the anxiety feeling and rapid heart beat. My lovely boyfriend has been giving me massages at night so It helps plus I try not to be on my feet for longer than thirty minutes. Also My wonderful sister has been coming over to help with whatever I need to do in the day time. The memory loss and lack of focus is an issue but oh well I prefer not to remember much these days anyways lol. Before knowing about my condition I thought all these symptoms were due to me getting older and use to joke about it but truly feel like a senior citizen now lol.  Another helpful advice I got was to not fight it and get frustrated but rather have acceptance that some things I simply cannot do I don't have control over and it is okay. it's just temporary. It's okay to have others do things for you in the mean time. For the longest I have been pushing myself to work, study, drive, cook, clean, run errands, going out with friends or seeing family. Seeing friends and family is the worst because they have so much expectations and for some reason they want to be too involved suggesting too many things but hearing all their assumptions of "oh you must feel this way" "oh you need to do this and that" is not very helpful because they have no idea the mental aspect of this syndrome. Yes online there are lists of what a cushing's patients physical symptoms are but there should be a long list of the mental, cognitive, emotional signs and symptoms. I no longer have the energy to explain to people what goes on in my brain of how this syndrome causes me to feel. That I can only be around certain people who are with me 24/7 or from day one who do not trigger my panick attacks since they understand how to handle it. I now have to limit conversations with my mom. I know with family it's from a place of sympathy and love and I love them to death but for a cushie, it just feels overwhelming... All the women i've spoken to told me the fastest thing that recovers after surgery is that their state of mind changed instantly and the anxiety was gone. So I look forward to having that normal feeling back. whatever "normal" is since I thought all of these feelings were normal but they aren't.

 I've always given in to expectations of others and myself because I don't want to lose control over what I can and cannot do but I think It's time for me to know my limits and see it as a step to loving myself more. I found some videos and other fellow recovering cushie's that's been so instrumental to me.

- sharmyn's story youtube
-Steph's picture timeline
-Cushing's disease, moods, bi-polar youtube
-puremoonlite's recovery youtube