Happy New Year! Happy New You! and My Instagram!

Destroy What Destroys You.
 

Just posting a quick motivational photo for the new years. Recovery journey is starting to take a big turn and  it feels real good to me. I want to do a post about my experience of falling out of depression, so probably next blog will be about that. And no it's not because of the physical changes that is making me happier.... It's mentally too. It's amazing how things can change when I've felt so stuck in a rut for many years. Anyways I'll save all of that for next post!

Any who so I joined two social networking! One is called "Experience Project"-- if you feel depressed, like you need someone to talk to and nobody is there for you, go join this website! You can find people who are going through similar things that you are going through and seek advice.. Or just to talk to. NO HATERS ALLOWED! So try it out!! and I also joined Instagram. Sure I don't have many followers but I just wanted to have a place where I can post up some motivational stuff and progress pictures! I already have some Cushie friends that are seeking advice and seeing the progress of other fellow Cushies... If you have an account for either social networking sites, join us & add me!! See you in 2014!

INSTAGRAM: MEOMEEOOW
ExperienceProject: Yoshigirl12

Sexy Pictures of My Test Results!

Haha jk about the sexy part. Some people like to post sexy "selfies" but I will post bloody test results! Hey, I put hearts to make it sexier lol <3 The blood test results are in and drumroll..... 

 

^^Lol nothing much to see here but last month I was .03 So that is something? Unless it's just residual medication I took the other day prior to drawing blood. Hope not. I was at .03 three months ago.. I get nervous before bloodtests not because of needles but I still feel iffy these days so if my adrenal gland was to normalize I would be dissapointed that "iffy" would be the new normal I have to live with.. But the test confirms the iffy feelings. Still long ways to go. I am feeling better than before so let's keep rolling with the good times & improving. Still got my patience socks on. If that is the only thing I learned from Cushing's then it would be a good lesson of patience. Yeah, for those who have experienced major illness ya'll know that getting sick is only the beginning. Now there are other concerns that are raising up. The doctors told me this would be expected to find underlying problems after since Cushing's masked alot of underlying problems with itself. For example my allergies came back. But that's the least of my worries. Sounds like a sad broken record but I'm sharing my truth and that's what's up.

The dizzy spells are still here. I feel light headed and numbness on my chest and face often. It's worse when I'm hungry or tired. My PCP told me my white blood count (WBC) is low so we are going to investigate.. Health is a tricky little equation..

 
I went to vacation last week and I could not be as active and snorkel or walk too much. But it was still a great winter escape nonetheless. Wish I could stay there forever! I'll post up some pictures next time but I'll preview a real sexy picture down here. =]

Sexy Paradise eh?

Body Progress Pic Update

^Bloated, I couldn't suck in my stomach lol

I've been kinda in a funky mood feeling extremely weak and dizzy. Yesterday I halfway blacked out. I started seeing grey and tingles then I fell in the hallway. So I greyed out lol.. It usually happens when I stand up too quickly. I feel  numb on my face & chest like I am not getting enough air in my lungs. which makes the anxious feelings worse. And the low energy feeling lasts all day. To get my mind off it, I took some pictures to remind me I AM getting better. And I want to share it here. The other day the nurse weighed me and the scale said 112lbs. I couldn't believe her I made her weigh me again. And I haven't been that low since highschool. I think even then I was 115lbs. So great my body doesn't hate me anymore! The weird thing is that my height was 5'3 but I use to be 5'5, before surgery I measured 5'4 - how did I lose 2inches???  I'm posting up some pictures with Cushing's and 6 months after Adrenalectomy. And the last one is a few days after surgery. The scars are healing nicely. So far I have lost maybe 2 or 3 lbs every month to a total of 17lbs! And what is my secret? Getting a Cushing's tumor removal! Lol I have barely exercised, or changed my diet, I do eat smaller portions because if I stuff myself I feel sick... Every time I try to run it is too painful & nauseous. And I am constantly craving sweets and carbs these days. I guess that is what low sugar and adrenal Insuffiency will do to you-- give mad cravings but still lose weight. I just walk for like 30 mins a day... But I am very inactive compared to before. So it is just a joy to see progress!

When Healing Begins

Now that I am free of the Cushing's Tumor, I am given a gift for the ability to heal myself. This is the gift that enables any damage that has been done to my health, body and mind in the past to be reversed. The damage that has been done was many things from the list of symptoms. However I need to address the damage in another form that I hold responsibility for. For a long time I never wanted to accept that illness could or had happened to me. In order to start my true healing, I needed to accept the situation for what it is, however I am one to resist the thought of something I don't want. But not only did it make the process slower, it caused more friction within my energy and finding the peace I wanted.

During serious ailment, the body is weak so there is no defense to protect the mind. The sickness tends to take over but we have to be conscious of the situation and accept it. It is not easy to do so especially for a sick patient. But we have to know that we are not our "tumor"-- the one that creates the painful symptoms, or even our mind-- the thoughts that can create bad feelings. Being aware of the triggers and fears are very helpful. What I have learned is that the only thing I needed to do was to let everything run it's course instead of fighting it with nonsense worry and thinking. I can accept that I am not who I use to be anymore. Now I am given a chance to change and become stronger, grow happier, and make peace with my life. And if it took all of this to happen then thank God it did!!

 

Happy Halloween!

This is a homage to the little kitty >.< Meo Meo!
 

I'll keep this one short. Dear diary, do not let me have a sip of hard liquor!! Let's just say I got wild and took less than 3 shots the other night and my stomach is still not happy today.. I guess one glass of wine or cocktail is fine but I think I gotta put my old partying days behind me. Atleast until my body will let me again haha.. Well HAPPY HALLOWEEN! ^.^

My Picture Timeline on Youtube

Hello! I decided it's time to put up some pictures of my progress.. I want to talk more about Cushing's, my experience, and support through videos but I'm a bit still shy so I decided to make a slideshow instead... I'm not a pro and some of the captions don't show up idk how to fix it loll I'm a newb but here it is:

Please share this video!

A New Earth??

 

Started reading "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle and read this paragraph that made me go whoa... lol I thank this author because I believe it is true. Damn ego... =]