Sunday, April 14, 2013

LOVE love yourself

I recently talked to some women who have recovered from Cushing's and they have been so helpful with giving me insight on how to be a Cushie and how to recover from it. So thank you ladies. One thing that struck out is that all of them told me I need to love myself more in order to have a good recovery. For some reason, most Cushie's blame themselves for becoming this way including myself. I spoke with a lady named Julie and she said "I think the most important thing I want to tell you is to not beat yourself up over what has happened.  Cushings is a medical problem.  You did nothing to deserve it; it just happened.  You will recover but the process will be slow.  You must be very kind to yourself as you recover.  You must surround yourself with people who love and support you." Thank you so much for telling me that Julie. 

So far my symptoms are somewhat under control besides the muscle and joint pains. My awesome doc prescribed some beta blockers that has been helping the anxiety feeling and rapid heart beat. My lovely boyfriend has been giving me massages at night so It helps plus I try not to be on my feet for longer than thirty minutes. Also My wonderful sister has been coming over to help with whatever I need to do in the day time. The memory loss and lack of focus is an issue but oh well I prefer not to remember much these days anyways lol. Before knowing about my condition I thought all these symptoms were due to me getting older and use to joke about it but truly feel like a senior citizen now lol.  Another helpful advice I got was to not fight it and get frustrated but rather have acceptance that some things I simply cannot do I don't have control over and it is okay. it's just temporary. It's okay to have others do things for you in the mean time. For the longest I have been pushing myself to work, study, drive, cook, clean, run errands, going out with friends or seeing family. Seeing friends and family is the worst because they have so much expectations and for some reason they want to be too involved suggesting too many things but hearing all their assumptions of "oh you must feel this way" "oh you need to do this and that" is not very helpful because they have no idea the mental aspect of this syndrome. Yes online there are lists of what a cushing's patients physical symptoms are but there should be a long list of the mental, cognitive, emotional signs and symptoms. I no longer have the energy to explain to people what goes on in my brain of how this syndrome causes me to feel. That I can only be around certain people who are with me 24/7 or from day one who do not trigger my panick attacks since they understand how to handle it. I now have to limit conversations with my mom. I know with family it's from a place of sympathy and love and I love them to death but for a cushie, it just feels overwhelming... All the women i've spoken to told me the fastest thing that recovers after surgery is that their state of mind changed instantly and the anxiety was gone. So I look forward to having that normal feeling back. whatever "normal" is since I thought all of these feelings were normal but they aren't.

 I've always given in to expectations of others and myself because I don't want to lose control over what I can and cannot do but I think It's time for me to know my limits and see it as a step to loving myself more. I found some videos and other fellow recovering cushie's that's been so instrumental to me.

- sharmyn's story youtube
-Steph's picture timeline
-Cushing's disease, moods, bi-polar youtube
-puremoonlite's recovery youtube

1 comment:

  1. I recently had an adrenalectomy both of my glands were taken out. Tumor not there but I have Cushing's Syndrome and they can't locate the tumor. I had an adrenalectomy because the cortisol was just sitting in my body and it's dangerous. Now once I recover from this I will need to have scans done again to hopefully locate the tumor :( I am glad you are recovering and better.