Body Progress Pic Update

^Bloated, I couldn't suck in my stomach lol

I've been kinda in a funky mood feeling extremely weak and dizzy. Yesterday I halfway blacked out. I started seeing grey and tingles then I fell in the hallway. So I greyed out lol.. It usually happens when I stand up too quickly. I feel  numb on my face & chest like I am not getting enough air in my lungs. which makes the anxious feelings worse. And the low energy feeling lasts all day. To get my mind off it, I took some pictures to remind me I AM getting better. And I want to share it here. The other day the nurse weighed me and the scale said 112lbs. I couldn't believe her I made her weigh me again. And I haven't been that low since highschool. I think even then I was 115lbs. So great my body doesn't hate me anymore! The weird thing is that my height was 5'3 but I use to be 5'5, before surgery I measured 5'4 - how did I lose 2inches???  I'm posting up some pictures with Cushing's and 6 months after Adrenalectomy. And the last one is a few days after surgery. The scars are healing nicely. So far I have lost maybe 2 or 3 lbs every month to a total of 17lbs! And what is my secret? Getting a Cushing's tumor removal! Lol I have barely exercised, or changed my diet, I do eat smaller portions because if I stuff myself I feel sick... Every time I try to run it is too painful & nauseous. And I am constantly craving sweets and carbs these days. I guess that is what low sugar and adrenal Insuffiency will do to you-- give mad cravings but still lose weight. I just walk for like 30 mins a day... But I am very inactive compared to before. So it is just a joy to see progress!

When Healing Begins

Now that I am free of the Cushing's Tumor, I am given a gift for the ability to heal myself. This is the gift that enables any damage that has been done to my health, body and mind in the past to be reversed. The damage that has been done was many things from the list of symptoms. However I need to address the damage in another form that I hold responsibility for. For a long time I never wanted to accept that illness could or had happened to me. In order to start my true healing, I needed to accept the situation for what it is, however I am one to resist the thought of something I don't want. But not only did it make the process slower, it caused more friction within my energy and finding the peace I wanted.

During serious ailment, the body is weak so there is no defense to protect the mind. The sickness tends to take over but we have to be conscious of the situation and accept it. It is not easy to do so especially for a sick patient. But we have to know that we are not our "tumor"-- the one that creates the painful symptoms, or even our mind-- the thoughts that can create bad feelings. Being aware of the triggers and fears are very helpful. What I have learned is that the only thing I needed to do was to let everything run it's course instead of fighting it with nonsense worry and thinking. I can accept that I am not who I use to be anymore. Now I am given a chance to change and become stronger, grow happier, and make peace with my life. And if it took all of this to happen then thank God it did!!

 

Happy Halloween!

This is a homage to the little kitty >.< Meo Meo!
 

I'll keep this one short. Dear diary, do not let me have a sip of hard liquor!! Let's just say I got wild and took less than 3 shots the other night and my stomach is still not happy today.. I guess one glass of wine or cocktail is fine but I think I gotta put my old partying days behind me. Atleast until my body will let me again haha.. Well HAPPY HALLOWEEN! ^.^

My Picture Timeline on Youtube

Hello! I decided it's time to put up some pictures of my progress.. I want to talk more about Cushing's, my experience, and support through videos but I'm a bit still shy so I decided to make a slideshow instead... I'm not a pro and some of the captions don't show up idk how to fix it loll I'm a newb but here it is:

Please share this video!

A New Earth??

 

Started reading "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle and read this paragraph that made me go whoa... lol I thank this author because I believe it is true. Damn ego... =]

What Really Happened

This Monday I was on the verge of a panic attack I had the feelings come on so I tried to smoke some and drank a little Nyquil to calm down and sleep it off. BTW I do not console anyone to do that! EVER!! Well it didn't seem to help so I called my nurse and she told me to go to the Neuro center at my hospital immediately. So I went and texted Muffin that I was getting some help. Apparently the nurse thought I was committing suicide and called the cops and ambulance. Well, I did tell her I was trying to "stop the bad feelings" I guess it can be misinterpreted Anyways during the time I went to the center I had to give up my belongings and my cellphone. I stayed for a day and talked to some Psychiatrists about my health conditions and how nobody seems to understand. They told me that all of my feelings are validated and said I had a "rough childhood" lol I guess.. Once I got out I found like 50 texts and missed calls from Muffin and family members worried and that's when I found out that 10 cop cars and ambulance came to the apartment that night. I just want to thank everyone for caring so much and apologize for scaring up a storm. The truth from what the Psychiatrists concluded was that I do have suicidal tendencies. But don't worry I don't plan on taking my life or harming others. I DON"T WANT TO DIE. It's just hard living with Adrenal Insuffiency as it was with Cushing's. except for the fact that you don't bloat up like a balloon.

Well let's talk about some GOOD PROGRESS

Today I went to see my doc, I still am Adrenal Insufficient. So still on the HTR. When they weighed me I was 112 lbs which means I have lost 16 lbs since Adrenalectomy. That puts me back to how much I weighed back in HS. This is with little to no diet or exercise! Ohyeah! The weird part is that I have gotten 2 inches shorter. I use to be 5'5 and now i'm 5'3. I made them double check and that's how the cookie crumbled. Maybe it had to do with Cushing's and osteoporosis/bone loss was a symptom. But yeah I guess the only good news is the weightloss haha! Atleast I can fit into that dress pictured below I wanted to wear to Muffin's friends' wedding. Initially I had trouble zipping up the dress when I first got it but the day of, it fit like a glove. I had reservations about going to such a public place but who could miss a wedding in the name of love?

Where's Miley?

My S.O.

Love these nails! Essie Polish and Essie gold Applique